Magic Under the Mistletoe Read online

  ‘Does your granddad miss it now he no longer lives here?’ I’m not even sure that’s a question I should ask, given our respective roles and that I’m an unexpected guest here. But I can’t help feeling curious, as clearly his grandparents had been together for a very long time.

  ‘If he does he wouldn’t share that fact. Granddad plays everything very close to his chest. He’s an interesting man and Grandma is right when she complains that he never was very demonstrative. Old-school, is the correct term to use, I think. He used to refer to her as that darned woman, would you believe?’

  I laugh, and he does, too.

  ‘So why doesn’t he live here any more?’ The minute I ask the question I regret it. A couple of hours and I’m out of here. Cary’s manner is changing by the second and I’m warming to him in a way I didn’t think was possible. But nothing has changed – he’s a client, not a friend.

  ‘He lives only a few miles away in a small hunting lodge. Granddad told me he’d always hated this house as it was a burden that came between the two of them. It was Grandma’s family home going way back and when she inherited it the place was in a sorry state of neglect.

  ‘She funded the renovation work from the stocks and shares that were also a part of her inheritance and, later, from the fruits of her writing. Her determination to rescue it annoyed him for some reason. At the time I couldn’t understand it but now I wonder if it was because he could see there was a connection between her and Robert. I often wondered if their involvement began before my grandfather left. Robert’s wife died nine years ago, and my grandfather eventually moved out four years after that.’

  I decide it’s best if I say nothing. If Cary wants to offload that’s entirely up to him and I’m a good listener but it isn’t really my place. Besides, I don’t think I should pry out of blatant curiosity.

  ‘Porthkerry farm is over there, adjacent to the main road. Grandma’s place was the old vicarage before her family purchased it. We’re heading down towards the viaduct and beyond that is the beach, which offers wonderful views of the channel.’

  Cary raises his arm and points in the direction ahead, although at the moment all I can see is the next bend, where the lane curves. The snow-topped hedges that flank us either side are at head height. Rare glimpses, whenever there’s a break in the hedge, confirm we’re surrounded by seemingly endless fields, with no sign of human habitation at all. In summer I assume this is a mixture of crops and pasture land.

  ‘Most of what you can see belongs to Robert’s family. The old vicarage has a couple of acres but that is leased to Robert and farmed.’

  It’s a downhill slope now and the lane widens a little as we round the next corner. Two huge metal gates set back in the hedgerow herald the drive up to an enormous house, probably twice the size of the old vicarage. Even stopping to peer through the gates to get a closer look, the house is way in the distance. A dog comes bounding up and begins barking.

  ‘Don’t pay any attention to Dixon. He sounds like a guard dog but he’s a real pussy. Jason Montague is a stockbroker. His wife Caroline is a lovely lady, very down-to-earth and heavily involved with several charities. Two kids at boarding school. Grandma refers to them as the perfect little family. You should see the size of the swimming pool at the rear of the property. There’s nothing little when it comes to describing this family, but they do seem to be sticking together.’

  I don’t make a comment and we set off again. It isn’t long before I get my first glimpse of the viaduct.

  ‘Impressive, isn’t it?’ Cary reflects, noting my surprise.

  ‘Awesome.’ It’s a true feat of engineering, rising up out of the landscape and dwarfing everything with its towering, sturdy pillars.

  The downhill gradient steepens. It’s fairly easy walking, though, with only a slight crunch underfoot now as the gravel is trodden into about an inch of increasingly slushy snow. In the fields either side it’s still probably at least eight inches deep.

  The setting is breathtaking and eerily quiet until the roar of another plane engine reminds us how close we are to the airport. It’s impossible not to stop and watch as the huge, glinting, metallic arrow slices through the air with ease.

  ‘If the airport’s open then the main roads have been cleared. I could call a taxi, you know. I expect you have a lot of catching up to do when your brother and his family arrive.’

  We continue walking and Cary turns to look at me.

  ‘We’ll have plenty of time to do that. I’d feel better seeing you safely to the door. After all, it’s my fault we were running so behind on the schedule and were affected by the snow. I feel bad about that as it wasn’t the easiest of flights. I didn’t mean to sound as if I didn’t trust or value your opinion with regard to the video, but I’m up against it at the moment.

  ‘Only half of my board of directors are on-side with pricing the product to attract volume sales, because it’s a risk. If we don’t hit the numbers, then the pricepoint needed to label it as affordable will seriously hit our profit levels.’

  I think I’m beginning to understand the pressure he’s under both at home and at work. That can’t be easy. Talking to him casually like this, he’s a different man to the one who previously had me gritting my teeth whenever I heard his voice.

  ‘But from a shareholder’s point of view isn’t business mainly about profit? It will still be a green initiative on which you’ve significantly improved, won’t it, so it all helps to save the planet.’

  He kicks out at a mound of powdery snow that Robert, or one of his men, has bulldozed to the side.

  ‘If we end up going for the higher price then it means everything I’ve worked for will have been for nothing. Anyone could have seen this project through from the drawing board to fruition. There are lots of companies out there with enough money to develop technological advances but this new design gives us a head start. And we have the funding to roll this out. This project is as much about reaching the huge number of people who simply don’t realise the options open to them, as it is selling a product.

  ‘If we fail to get across the message that they can expect an immediate, and significant, return even for a standard two- or three-bed home, then we will miss the mark. We’re talking grassroots changes here for working families used to paying large energy companies to provide their services. This will eventually become the new norm but it won’t happen overnight. However, we need a significant take up to really get the ball rolling. In truth, the solar panel industry has only made a small dent in the lower end of the domestic market.’

  The passion in his voice tells me how much he’s emotionally invested in this project.

  ‘It’s a big ask, I can’t deny that.’

  I wonder if he even has a chance of achieving his goal.

  ‘The video has to deliver on so many fronts. It has to be direct, informative and easy to digest. Power is simply power, to most people. They flick on a switch and the light comes on – there’s no conscious thought involved. We’re asking the average man in the street who might not give clean energy much thought, to take control, realise there is money to be made and, in doing so, make a difference. Hopefully the interest generated at the conference will be enough to convince a couple more directors that there is tremendous potential in this initiative. Anyway, enough about work as Grandma would say.’

  We head off across a wide swathe of open land which runs down to the viaduct. We are now ankle-deep in snow and it’s a novelty. In the distance are two people walking an Alsatian and behind us an older man with two small terriers is stooping to let them off their leashes.

  I squint up at the sky as the sun appears from behind a cloud, thinking that it’s hard to believe it’s Christmas Eve. I think back to last year and my heart sinks in my chest, but I shrug it off. As I always do whenever the memory comes back to haunt me.

  ‘That’ll help melt it,’ I say, brightly, turning to look at Cary and maybe seeing him in a slightly different light for the fi
rst time.

  ‘Hopefully, quickly,’ Cary retorts, shooting me a warm smile. I think he needed to share his worries with someone and I’m kind of glad he had this opportunity.

  ‘So, you’re about to start your Christmas celebrations later today. I’m sure your family will be relieved to have you safely back under their roof.’

  I can’t halt the dismissive laugh that escapes my lips like a mini explosion. ‘If only you knew. I will admit I’m returning with more than a little reluctance and I’m still not ruling out a chance to just take off and head in the opposite direction.’

  The sun’s rays are really beginning to warm the air and I slide down the zip on my coat.

  ‘Shall we sit for a moment and enjoy the view?’ Cary indicates towards a wooden bench and we begin the slow traipse over to it.

  After we kick the snow off our boots, it’s rather pleasant to sit and watch the dogs as they bound about in the heaps of snow that stack up against the stonework of the viaduct.

  To the side of us a copse of tall trees stand proudly looking out over the landscape, wearing nature’s own festive decorations. As I stare in turn at the huge number of balls of mistletoe, it makes me smile for a moment. Few people know that it grows on a range of trees including willow, apple, and oak trees like these towering sentinels.

  It’s food for the birds, the bees love it for the pollen, and butterflies lay their eggs on it. But it’s spread in the bird poo of those who have eaten the berries. Encased in a natural fertiliser, it prospers but the sad truth is that it’s a tree-killing parasite. Life is full of strange ironies, I reflect, as I gaze around.

  ‘It’s not my family I’m supposed to be spending Christmas with, but my ex in-laws. My divorce was finalised three months ago. My husband had an affair with a friend of mine. They’re still together.’

  Cary looks at me with something akin to incredulity written all over his face. ‘And you’re going to spend Christmas with his family?’

  Quite rightly his tone reflects a level of scepticism.

  ‘Yep. They are lovely people and it wasn’t their fault. Even though the marriage is over, the family bond is harder to unravel. With my parents heading off to spend Christmas in the sun and my sister, Beth, off to get to know her fiancé’s family – well, I was going to be home alone. Which, I might add, was actually rather appealing.’

  ‘Hmm… that’s unfortunate but couldn’t you just have made your excuses?’

  This time my laugh is tarnished by the thought of some very painful memories.

  ‘Gwen and Peter are kind, generous people and for three years I was like their second daughter. It’s hard to turn my back on them and the truth is I didn’t have the heart to say no.’

  ‘That was a big ask, Leesa and it’s not very fair on you under the circumstances. I’m assuming he won’t be there?’

  I nod, thinking life isn’t fair, either. Or do people end up getting what they deserve? Sometimes I find it hard not to be bitter.

  ‘No. He’s spending Christmas with her family. But Gwen’s mother died last month, and she’s asked me to stay to help her through the first Christmas without Alice. I loved Nathan’s grandma, she was one of a kind. Gwen is going through the early stages in terms of the grieving process, Cary, so what could I say?’

  I slip off a glove to run a hand over my face and brush away a few stray hairs that are flicking against my eyelashes. It’s making my eyes water – that’s why I’m tearful, I tell myself emphatically.

  ‘It’s a final goodbye for you then; you want to draw a line under the past but it’s not always easy to let go. I can understand that.’ Cary’s words surprise me.

  ‘You can?’

  His eyes narrow as if he’s mulling something over and I wait, wondering what’s coming next.

  ‘The day my brother was married it was supposed to be a double celebration. Everything was in place and then eight days before the wedding, Paige called it off. The girl I’d sat next to at school and the woman I thought I was going to marry after being together for seven years, woke up one morning and realised she wanted more out of life.’

  I gasp.

  ‘More?’

  ‘Excitement. She didn’t want to be tied down. In fact, she wanted to travel and she did just that. Paige eventually settled down when she met someone in Hong Kong a few years later. Right man, right place.’

  It’s difficult to know what to say to that.

  ‘That must have been tough on you, Cary.’

  He shrugs his shoulders, nonchalantly.

  ‘The worst bit was that it was actually a relief in one way, but a total nightmare in another. I felt numb at first, then I realised that we’d slipped into this cosy relationship that wasn’t a grand passion that was going to last. We were simply going through the motions. Paige did the right thing, but it took me a while to draw that line and move on. Having done that, I’m in no hurry to put myself in that sort of situation again.’

  ‘One of those if only moments, for sure. And a nightmarish one to resolve, not wanting to spoil your brother’s big day.’

  That must have been a horrible situation to find himself in.

  ‘Yes, it was. Paige and I were in the process of buying a house together, too, and had to pull out, upsetting a lovely couple who didn’t deserve to be messed about. As for Laurence’s big day, well, everyone was on edge worrying about me. Her parents clung on for a long time. She was gone and they didn’t want to lose touch with me, too. They believed she would eventually come back and want to pick up where we left off. In the end I had to sever all links for my own sanity.’

  Slipping the glove back over my hand, I rise up from the bench. ‘I guess we’d better start heading back. It won’t look very good if you’re not there to greet the new arrivals.’

  I put my head back and inhale slowly. It’s good to savour the crisp, fresh tang that only a heavy snowfall can bring to each intake of breath.

  ‘You’re right. I know Cressida looks strong and she is quite a force, but what happened to me was a bitter blow to her. It sucked the joy out of what was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. It lowered her both mentally and physically for a while, although she bounced back. She always does. But seeing it all unfold was heartbreaking, I can’t deny it. In your case, though, you are over him – aren’t you?’ Cary is direct, but then that’s his style.

  ‘Yes. But it’s never quite that simple, is it? I don’t regret what happened. I just regret how it happened. But it’s going to be a difficult couple of days and now I wish I’d been strong enough to say no. I need to think of a way of signaling to them that they can’t expect me to be there for them in the future.’ I sigh and even to my ears it sounds defeatist.

  We walk back out into the lane. Almost immediately the incline starts to bite on our calf muscles, so we automatically slow our pace.

  Cary suddenly shakes his head, pursing his lips. ‘Families, eh?’

  Who would have thought that beneath that stern, unbending exterior, Cary was a man whose emotional life must have been in constant turmoil for a very long time; that would explain a lot of things. And Cressida is right to be worried about him, because maybe he never will risk trusting someone again. But that’s a decision only Cary can make for himself.

  We walk in silence for quite a while, content to listen to the birds enjoying the sunshine. They are foraging about for winter bounty, flitting in and out of the trees and hedgerows as best they can. With such a heavy covering of snow all around, the thaw is going to be a slow one.

  I would love to do this walk in the summer and go further, down to the beach beyond the viaduct. But the beauty of the snow-laden fields is awesome too and the fresh air is clearing my head. It’s time to face up to what threatens to be a trying few days. Gwen is my main concern in all of this because I know how fragile she is right now. She deserves to get the support she needs this Christmas, despite the fact that the family has been torn apart. However, when I leave it will be another bl
ow to her and I know she won’t want to let go.

  ‘We’re both in a rather impossible situation, aren’t we? When my brother and his family arrive, it will make everything worse between Grandma and me. Fortunately, he can be a little thoughtless at times and he’s bound to do something that will make me look good – at least for a moment, or two. But Grandma will look at those kids and think I should be there with a wife by my side and a kid or two of my own running around.’

  ‘I wonder if a perfect Christmas even exists?’ I muse.

  ‘You mean happy faces, no family arguments and Christmas carols sung around the tree?’

  That makes me chuckle. ‘I’d swap all that for a little peace and quiet. I don’t think that’s something Santa can deliver, though.’

  Suddenly he takes a giant step forward and spins around to face me.

  ‘Look, I know this sounds crazy but I need you. Well, I need to enlist your help and I think this could benefit us both, equally. Nothing would mean more to me this Christmas than to make my grandmother happy. No one wants someone they love and admire to be fretting at this time of the year. Especially when they don’t deserve it. Life can be unjust as times, no matter how much effort we put into it. She’s given everything she has to her family and she deserves a break from all the worry.’

  What on earth does he mean? I study his face but he’s rather hard to read, at times.

  ‘If Santa granted you one wish this Christmas, just for you, what would you ask for?’

  I stare at him intently and he looks back at me without blinking.

  ‘I’m being serious here,’ he confirms, even though I’m looking at him as if he’s lost his mind.

  ‘Well, for the holidays to be over. To come out the other side without upsetting anyone. And without digging myself into a hole. Or committing to something I know I can’t deliver simply because of the guilt factor.’